B R A I N   L A C E

SELECTED POEMS - this book was published in 2018 by BareBackPress

P L U G G E D - I N 

 

The machine stirs

The camera is on 

 

Yes

 

His male brooding

One of those dark

Plugged-in souls

 

At each end – wasteland 

This discontent

Our breeding ground

 

I'm pouring wine over the laptop keys

Down the wires 

To intoxicate you 

To fuck with you

Dressed up for you

I’m infiltrating

Your stress is visible

T E M P L E 

 

Bleach my cunt 

The spinning vortex

Of slut crystals

That started all this

 

You are a little brain slut

And your cunt is in your brain

Where your conscience should be

 

Slut crystals spinning

Edges shredding 

Unnecessary head cells

 

I often wake up choking

Need no blockage

Inject bleach into my brain

Wipe the disc

C L O U D   I I 

 

Seed to flower to seed

To flower to seed to flower 

 

The great lotus

Feeding chain 

 

Navel to brain to navel

To brain to navel to brain

 

He bares a man inanimate

Needing fed

 

A promise of ecstasy

Is made

 

Probing his dissonance

It pollinates

 

Back

Seed to brain to seed

C L A W S

 

He swears 

He didn’t think it

 

Claws 

 

Were already growing 

Out of my ribs

No going back

Can’t take back a thought 

Hyperpink bitch extensions 

Spraying out of my gut

Clawing for the thoughtform

I think I’m stronger

Than my self-control 

C L O U D   I I I

 

I should be at work

Window open 

This hot satin afternoon 

Room evaporates into

 

Milk on the breeze 

 

The tree trunk

Expands and contracts 

 

My ribcage

Expands and contracts 

 

Paradise 

Where the trees give milk

In return for nothing 

 

Milk the tree

Milk the tree

Milking the tree

Milking it

Up and down 

In my best earnest 

Milk on satin

Is the exquisite dress 

To sleep in

Afternoon 

C L O U D   I V

 

I had a dream

You were bleeding from the gut

She was nursing you

I was driving the bus

 

You are trying to make it stop

Fighting

Tight 

Twisting

Tight 

In your torso

Down to your cock

It’s all in your head

In a crevice

At the source of it

Light

R I P 

 

Little girls

If you played with Barbie

Listen to this

You’ll want it

You’ll beg a higher power

You’ve been

Biologically programmed

To be driven over

By a truck-man

It’s so fucking romantic

You’ll rip your fucking hair out

You’ll stand outside yourself

Some long bastard night

The ejaculating painball

On that bed

Is you 

S U T R A   O F   T H E   C O M P U T E R   B O D Y

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A S H E S

 

A grey wall

Between us

Frames of decay

 

Sinking into a thought 

I don't want to accept

 

While my body is young 

Ripe in the midday sun

An urge to burn

Unbearable suchness

 

In the ashes

In the quantum

When our bodies

Finally break down

 

The matter between us 

Will not exist 

 

The oceans 

The wrong turns

The deeds

 

Meanwhile

 

We miss all the love

Its impermanence 

T H E   T I N T

 

Months of

Fuck blur

 

When this flush leaves us

When the tint lifts 

When we can feel again 

Something outside of this 

 

We'll walk through the remains

Look what it took

To immortalise urgency 

 

We turned to stone 

At him and her 

As stone you crush

 

And their hearts were mortal

Mashable flesh 

A C T   I

 

In my bardo

I watched the sex act

At the membrane

 

Everyone who came before

Came by the act 

In the act 

 

I watched 

A young man

A young woman

Tilted 

In love

 

Made in love

Of love and of milk 

 

Organs made of 

A pump of milk

 

Hidden tubes 

Carriers of love

 

From the father 

To the mother

From the mother

To the infant

Mine to him

You must 

Beat his balls 

with sharp objects

Until he cries and cries 

your name and

Cries trying to clutch at you 

for comfort 

Someone stays adrift 

in their bardo 

His sperm drips out 

of the slice 

and

 

He is calm

He is on my breast now

F O U R   F A C E S

 

In our domesticity

 

1. Bastard you

2. Ugly me

 

Our darkest positioning

 

I wanted to stay beautiful forever

You are malforming me

 

3. Nice you

4. Nice me

 

Drunken slaves

Our boat sails

In mirrored rivers

We throb perverse 

The four of us 

L I F E F O R M

 

Our love is our baby
The baby we’ll never have 

A hundred years ago
We’d have fourteen kids 

You’d come home
Hands and feet black
To a room full of love 

 

Our love was a foetus
Pink glowing angel mix of us 

You put it inside me
To incubate
A digital lifeform
I could see through my skin 

 

The birth was hard 

It’s in our hands 

Sometimes mine 

Sometimes yours 

Sometimes both
We have dreams for it 

Perfections 

But
It cries 

A P E X 

 

We’re in

Arms and eyes and mouths 

And Lawyer talk

Cyst in the pit of my liver

With teeth

And little cunt ducts flexing

Acid projectile

Come down

You’re bankrupt

Give me the peak

 

Man saying sad words

Trying to keep me 

 

I know how God feels

In receipt of

All those 

Private prayers

At night 

C L O U D   I X

 

You look so peaceful

Supine weak in my dream 

I put my mouth on yours 

You think I'm going to kiss you 

I can’t do that

In the warm space 

I spoke into your mouth

From the outside it looked like a kiss 

Spoke every vile hate thought 

You've brought up in me 

Every one

A whisper from an abusive mother

To a child she wishes she never had 

Isn't she so loving to him

Kissing him slow so deliberate

Telling the child he is worthless 

And he ruined my life

K A R M A   M A N 

 

Living my karma

Via you

 

I asked to be degenerate

And life brought

Your constant dissolution

 

I chose my

Innate ability to harm myself

Can learn every lesson but this selfish

Drive to have the spectrum

Of intense

 

Like karma 

My punishment memory

Is long

When your time comes

Don’t cry for sympathy

You picked first

You were fully grown

You entered our vow to

Execute sufficient misery 

© 2020 by Karina Bush